the erikarl is making their list, and they are checking it bunches of times, and with december 4th right around the corner, there are still a crapload of people who haven’t rsvp’d… those who do not rsvp in a timely manner WILL be put on the naughty list, and WILL be forced to do the chicken dance and possibly the macarena at the reception. just sayin’.
hip hip hooray // the invitations are on their way!
keep an eye on your mailbox // lest your invite be stolen by a fox.
when your invite you do recieve // quickly, quickly, rsvpeeve
some reply cards have not a stamp // as they were stolen by a tramp
but on this do not opine // for surely you can reply online!
beans and rice are a tasty treat // especially when combined with meat
if you need more information // gaze on this little communication
if you don’t like this, no need to be snooty // after the wedding, i’ll get some… um… clafoutis!
well schnitzel. i certainly have been negligent in posting on a regular basis. and for that i do apologize.
as we near the big date, people frequently ask me how the wedding planning is going. so i thought i’d provide all of you readers (all 2 of you) a quick update by category:
wedding location: this is one of the most critical components of the whole wedding thing, as this is where the marrying actually happens. but who knew that churches wanted so much money just to use it for an hour on an off-day. crazy i tell you. so we decided to get creative. we asked ourselves what the most important part of the church is, with regard to the wedding. the answer was clear – the aisle. and when we asked ourselves where else we could find an aisle, the answer became clear – the grocery store. aside from having the perfect layout for a wedding (you can do up to 23 simultaneous weddings), it provides another advantage – sponsorship. that’s right folks, to further offset the cost of the wedding, our wedding will now be known as the doritos erikarl wedding brought to you by purina dog chow.
reception: if any of you know erika or i at all then you know that neither of us get too caught up on convention. our objective for the reception is that people have a blast and that it can house a very large table for all the presents. so, again after a little creative brainstorming we settled on the perfect solution, and interestingly enough it was the word brainstorm that provided the key. brain as in braincrusher and storm as in purple lightning. that’s right! monster trucks! we’ve decided to have our wedding reception at a monster truck rally. there will be all the popcorn, hot dogs and nachos that you can eat. the highlight of the event will be when the bride (an avid fan) will get a chance to attempt to jump 5 school busses in ‘jaws of death’ (that’s another monster truck for those not in the know). hearing protection is reccommended but not provided. please bring your own.
cake: who doesn’t love wedding cake. but you know what people love more? wedding pudding. we will have a kiddie pool filled with delicious, homemade butterscotch pudding in the concession area. i don’t want to give anything away but the ceremonial cutting of the pudding should be pretty entertaining. rain slickers might be a good idea.
dress: wedding dresses are expensive. to try to cut costs we decided the sweet pair of spandex bike shorts that i sewed in seventh grade home economics proved that i have what it takes to make a wedding dress. i figure it can’t be too hard, what with all the ruffles and frills and flaps and pockets hiding any booboos should be a breeze. but since i can’t see the dress until the wedding day, i’m going to have to finish the last part with my eyes closed. now i just have to decide between the leopard print or the hot pink with sequins. i’ll be definitely putting my bedazzler to use on this one!
wedding party: everyone has probably seen the nifty videos on the YouTube or the office of the wedding party boogying down the aisle. well we will be doing that of course. but the problem is that most of the people who would have been in the wedding party look like jackrabbits on Valium when they try to dance. so to take it to the next level we plan to hire professional backup dancers in place of the typical wedding party. it should be a spectacular sight. i hear kevin federline may be looking for some work.
tuxes: normal tuxes are boring and the whole nonstandard tux color thing was just ruined by dumb and dumber. the choice then is obvious. bear skin tunics. they are warm, come in a variety of sizes and tells everybody ‘i’m bear-y excited about this wedding. now i have to decide between black, grizzly, panda or koala.
well that’s the update for now – stay posted for more!
So, shortly after Karl gave me this , there was another very serious question posed. It was not whether or not I was going to take on the name Dollard, but whether or not NEKO would become a Dollard too. Now, that seems like an odd question- especially if you could have seen Karl’s reaction to the first time meeting the Nekster. Neko at that time was barely 50lbs. She liked to put her paw up. Karl looked at her not knowing what to do daintily patted her with a firm hand. Like one would pet a porcupine. It was quite the site. I knew I liked Karl, but I wasn’t sure how Neko would fit in.
Since then, I think Karl has warmed up to her and she has to him. Karl loves when Neko jumps on the couch to cuddle. He even let her come to his condo and to Pat and Pam’s. Neko has even taken on some of Karl’s traits- flatulance and liking fancy treats! I think we will be quite the family! I can’t wait!
the one thing that most people first ask when i tell them about erika is “is this an imaginary fiancee?”. most of the time i can convince them that she is real. once that is done, many people follow that question with “well, how did you two lovebirds meet?”. since i get that question so often (at least 3 times), i figured i’d save some time and just publish it here. so here it goes:
one day, while walking through the park, i came across a juggler. naturally, he challenged me to a juggle off. being a gentleman of honor, i agreed. for those of you unfamiliar with the concept of a juggle off, the process is simple. there are 3 rounds. each round, one person chooses a selection of items and must juggle them for one minute. if that person is successful, then his or her opponent must complete the same task. if they fail, the the challenger gets a point. if they succeed, no points are awarded, but the challenger must buy an ice cream cone for the challengee. at the end, the winner is the person who has the most points when multiplied by the ratio of boys to girls in their hometown school district. it seems odd, but the arcane rules of juggle offs date back many thousands of years and are not to be challenged.
round one progressed quickly, with my challenger selecting 3 baseballs and 2 golf balls. i easily answered that challenge and responded with 4 robin’s eggs and a wad of partially chewed bubble gum that i scraped from the underside of a nearby bench. this proved challenging, but in the end we both prevailed. at the end of round one, we both had no points, and had purchased ice cream (i chose chocolate, he vanilla) for our opponent.
round two is where things got interesting. upping the ante, i chose a 4 foot long tree branch, with moss, the spare tire from a 1984 chevy caprice, a footlong hotdog with peppers and onions and a badger. the trickiest part of this ensemble was preventing the badger from eating the hot dog in mid toss, but i discovered that if i sang softly to the badger as i was juggling him, he remained docile and didn’t go after the delicious treat. unfortunately, my opponent was able to mimic this trick and was also successful. for his round two selections he selected 12 blades of grass and a homeless man who was sleeping on a nearby bench. after succeeding with that, i took my turn. i had a good rhythm going until the homeless man awoke at the apex of one of my tosses, and on the way down flailed out with his right arm, striking me in the cheekbone, and causing me to accidentally inhale one of the blades of grass, thereby disqualifying me. point to my opponent, as well as another dish of ice cream (cookies ‘n cream this time).
round three began with a bang as my opponent attempted to juggle a running lawnmower, a box of thin mint girl scout cookies, 4 gerbils and a lighted cigarette. unfortunately one of the gerbils turned out to be a chain smoker who made short work of the cigarette, thereby disqualifying his effort. i knew my selection for the final round would have to count. strategically, i selected 7 dishes of ice cream, thinking that my opponents over indulgence in this creamy delicacy would cause him to falter. unfortunately, it proved untrue, and i lost the contest .52522 to 0.
dejected, as i left the park i tripped over the curb and injured my tibia. knowing there was a medical practice nearby, i stopped in for some analgesics and diuretics. as it so happened erika was working that day, and we immediately fell in love.
and such is the story of how our love blossomed.
Perhaps without these delightful round fruity delicious tasty treats, otherwise known as a Chupa Chup, Karl and I may not be getting married. One may wonder how a lollipop could be so impactful- well, if you are asking that question, you obviously have never had one! When we first started dating, Karl was commuting to Chicago each week. The hotel he stayed at kept a bowl of these divine lolli’s for their guests. When I heard him on the phone one day with his lips smacking between every other words I had to ask him what on earth he was doing. He told me about the CC and it immediately won my heart. I’m a sucker for candy and especially CC. I hadn’t had them in years (since I had lived in Illinois). Each day Karl would “steal” a CC or maybe two from the candy dish. I kept wanting him to just take a handful but he said NO : Then on Thursday’s or Friday’s I would get to indulge myself. It was always a surprise as to which flavor he would come home with. And no- we would never share them. Thank goodness that hotel didn’t have tomatos or mushrooms at the front desk.
i’ve never had a blog before, though i’ve often wondered what i would write upon it if i did. so now, i suppose, i have the opportunity to find out. there will be the obvious stuff of course – wedding details, stories, fun facts and information. but there is only so much of that to go around. so if i, rather we, want to use this website to engage and interact with you, our friends and family (and we do), we’ve got to beef it up a bit. and i’ve got some really sweet ideas. so check back often, use the little rss link and put this in your google reader, or heck, just make it your home page. it’ll be worth it – trust me.
Okay here is my attempt at this blog thing. In case you were confused my this website ( like me). I’ll give you a short tutorial! First of all, we are getting Hitched! Hooray!! And if you are viewing this we want you to join us for this celebration! So, humor us and this website. We plan on putting stuff up about January 9, 2010 like times, directions, and anything else we feel like adding. Anyway, if anyone knows me- I’m super organized and have it all together and am totally on the ball! I never lose stuff, I never get lost, and I certainly don’t need your addresses. haha I have you all fooled don’t I. As you are viewing this for the first time we’d love to know whether or not you think you will be a part of the day and we would love your address (even if you have given it to us several times in the past). This will ensure you an INVITE! 🙂 Well, thanks for stopping by and look for further info about the day on here soon!
hey there! you’ve found our new web page. we’ve got big plans for this thing, so be sure to check back frequently!